RELATIONSHIP: Easy Entry, Difficult Exit
Relationship is an agreed connection between two or more people or things. Every one of us has been, is and will be in one relationship or the other – family, marital, social, campus, and so on; what we are, who we are and where we are, are all products of relationships either good or bad. As a matter of fact, we are all products of people who are no more there or products of people who are still there for us. The place of relationship can, therefore, not be de-emphasised or downplayed in the journey of life; man needs man, man needs woman, woman needs woman, and woman needs man. When there is no agreement in any relationship then it is a lone journey. However, each one of us needs connection (s) in order to be who we want or who God wants us to be. For the context of this article, I will hinge my writings on the marital aspect of relationship.
What is a Marital Relationship?
Marital relationship is the connection and agreement between a boy and a girl, guy and a lady or a man and a woman; for an exchange of mutual and emotional feelings which may or may not result into marriage. Every relationship has an entry and exit. It is always to some extent easier to enter into relationship than to exit. Life is a risk. However, you shouldn’t put your two legs inside the river to know how deep the river is. Relationship is not marriage but a place of knowing, productive, communication, discovery, observing and a place of making lasting choice. Most of the young folks of this 21st generation approach relationship like someone who goes to the market, tasting all the fruits, in order to know the sweetest; either the person will not leave the market unpunished by the seller or he eat poison. However, going to the market without planning, discipline, focus, values and dedication will result to a willing foolishness.
3 Keys to a Successful Relationship
There are basically three keys to a successful relationship: Value, Communication and Commitment.
VALUE
The most important thing in every relationship is the understanding of value. Value means the significance, worth and importance of something. You must know what you value and why you value it; knowing what and why the value will define who you are in each relationship. Your value might be neatness, material things, scriptures, books, etc. which you can never trade for anything. Where we are born, background, upbringing, religion, mindset, family, taste and so on are explicitly different and each one of us must accept the fact that we don’t have the same values. When you know your values and seek to know your partner’s values, you will not give yourself unnecessary headache in a relationship because what is important to you might not be important to him or her. However, seeking to force your values on someone is the beginning of chaos in a relationship. Either you accept me the way I am, cease to be in the relationship or try your best to influence me which can take years to achieve.
COMMUNICATION
Communication is the interaction or exchange of information between two people. A relationship without communication is like a brand new car with a professional driver yet without fuel. The place of communication cannot be dispelled, dissuaded or left out in a successful relationship. If you are in a relationship and talking seems difficult for you, then you are not fit to build a family because it will affect your interaction with your children, friends and extended family. You must learn the art of talking. As a matter of fact, how do you want to verbally express yourself in a relationship if you don’t know how to create a lively atmosphere with your partner or people around you? How will you settle quarrel? How will you defend yourself? How will you make yourself explainable? A man who does know how to use the power of words is too powerless to build a family. Communication is part of the cares a woman or man wants in a relationship. It is the cornerstone on which other aspects of relationship hinge; if communication fails, all other aspects will fail.
COMMITMENT
Commitment is the loyalty, responsibility, dedication and honesty to someone or something. Commitment in a relationship is essentially pivotal. A relationship that is devoid of honesty, loyalty and dedication is a relationship without mission, focus, vision and goal. However, value determines our commitment; there is no relationship without a commitment - sexual commitment, monetary commitment, spiritual commitment, material commitment and so on. Whatever the commitment is in a relationship, one must be consistent with it in order to sustain the relationship.
Conclusion
Relationship requires a lot of sacrifices and commitments, the moment you enter into it you might not take the same measure to get out because there might be some bruises and injuries which will take years to cure. In fact, the scar can never return to normal skin. Let me liking relationship to a story in the Bible: It is like entering into Egypt (the land of slavery) and Exit to Canaan (the promise land). The Israelites found it easy to enter Egypt but found it difficult to exit to Canaan. Before you enter into any relationship with a man or woman, find time to know yourself, your values and your interest; your proposed partner’s values, interest and some other characters. There is what I called Pre-relationship. I am not a fan of love at first sight but I subscribed to attraction at first sight. It is always difficult to exit or quit a relationship; broken relationship HURTS. You might have deleted his/her number, burn the letters, gifts, and all other things you have in common but it will take time to let go from your heart. Your feeble brain is not capable of providing a spouse for you but God is able to provide a beautiful, God-fearing and responsible spouse for you if only you will cling to him as a belt cling to the waist and allow him to direct yo
SOURCE : Stephen Ajamu
What is a Marital Relationship?
Marital relationship is the connection and agreement between a boy and a girl, guy and a lady or a man and a woman; for an exchange of mutual and emotional feelings which may or may not result into marriage. Every relationship has an entry and exit. It is always to some extent easier to enter into relationship than to exit. Life is a risk. However, you shouldn’t put your two legs inside the river to know how deep the river is. Relationship is not marriage but a place of knowing, productive, communication, discovery, observing and a place of making lasting choice. Most of the young folks of this 21st generation approach relationship like someone who goes to the market, tasting all the fruits, in order to know the sweetest; either the person will not leave the market unpunished by the seller or he eat poison. However, going to the market without planning, discipline, focus, values and dedication will result to a willing foolishness.
3 Keys to a Successful Relationship
There are basically three keys to a successful relationship: Value, Communication and Commitment.
VALUE
The most important thing in every relationship is the understanding of value. Value means the significance, worth and importance of something. You must know what you value and why you value it; knowing what and why the value will define who you are in each relationship. Your value might be neatness, material things, scriptures, books, etc. which you can never trade for anything. Where we are born, background, upbringing, religion, mindset, family, taste and so on are explicitly different and each one of us must accept the fact that we don’t have the same values. When you know your values and seek to know your partner’s values, you will not give yourself unnecessary headache in a relationship because what is important to you might not be important to him or her. However, seeking to force your values on someone is the beginning of chaos in a relationship. Either you accept me the way I am, cease to be in the relationship or try your best to influence me which can take years to achieve.
COMMUNICATION
Communication is the interaction or exchange of information between two people. A relationship without communication is like a brand new car with a professional driver yet without fuel. The place of communication cannot be dispelled, dissuaded or left out in a successful relationship. If you are in a relationship and talking seems difficult for you, then you are not fit to build a family because it will affect your interaction with your children, friends and extended family. You must learn the art of talking. As a matter of fact, how do you want to verbally express yourself in a relationship if you don’t know how to create a lively atmosphere with your partner or people around you? How will you settle quarrel? How will you defend yourself? How will you make yourself explainable? A man who does know how to use the power of words is too powerless to build a family. Communication is part of the cares a woman or man wants in a relationship. It is the cornerstone on which other aspects of relationship hinge; if communication fails, all other aspects will fail.
COMMITMENT
Commitment is the loyalty, responsibility, dedication and honesty to someone or something. Commitment in a relationship is essentially pivotal. A relationship that is devoid of honesty, loyalty and dedication is a relationship without mission, focus, vision and goal. However, value determines our commitment; there is no relationship without a commitment - sexual commitment, monetary commitment, spiritual commitment, material commitment and so on. Whatever the commitment is in a relationship, one must be consistent with it in order to sustain the relationship.
Conclusion
Relationship requires a lot of sacrifices and commitments, the moment you enter into it you might not take the same measure to get out because there might be some bruises and injuries which will take years to cure. In fact, the scar can never return to normal skin. Let me liking relationship to a story in the Bible: It is like entering into Egypt (the land of slavery) and Exit to Canaan (the promise land). The Israelites found it easy to enter Egypt but found it difficult to exit to Canaan. Before you enter into any relationship with a man or woman, find time to know yourself, your values and your interest; your proposed partner’s values, interest and some other characters. There is what I called Pre-relationship. I am not a fan of love at first sight but I subscribed to attraction at first sight. It is always difficult to exit or quit a relationship; broken relationship HURTS. You might have deleted his/her number, burn the letters, gifts, and all other things you have in common but it will take time to let go from your heart. Your feeble brain is not capable of providing a spouse for you but God is able to provide a beautiful, God-fearing and responsible spouse for you if only you will cling to him as a belt cling to the waist and allow him to direct yo
SOURCE : Stephen Ajamu
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