Broken Home ; but not Broken ;By Anonymous

My name is anonymous, I am  the first child of a disorganised family,when i say disorganised its to the  simplest word i could find to use .  My father and mother had never ever showed love in my presence. As a child i never knew or had  stable parent, the few memories i have of them are that of  arguments and fights.
Its either i was too young to remember or i was being a carefree child ..

My family was already broken before  i could talk as a child,i have memories of my dad beating my mum to a stage of unconsciousness, i also remember that after my mum ran  for her dear life my dad denied her access to us and she cried about that always.

I remember having a younger brother of  whom i have little or no memory about while growing up. Growing up was also had some  serious struggle,i grew up in a very rough environment  ,though  if i was allowed to choose again, i will always choose there.The truth is , it groomed me in some ways and made me take life as it is .

''long story short ,my home became a broken one when I was at the  age of 5 and my younger brother was just  2years of age , at which he needed a mother most.''

The family wont allow my mum take us away, even though she came  everyday ,she was still not  allowed to meet us.I remember her bringing us nice things that father only end up throwing away.

I became a well known person in the neighbourhood quite fast, while  my parents were always the talk of the town. At the age of 7 i would pass  my street and people will point hands at me and say '' That's the girl from that family '',when i get home i would always  cry my eyes out and then sleep over it and forget.
   
My education was one thing my father never  joked with,even though mother took care of  most of the expenses even with the fact that she wasn't living  with us.
My father will made sure i attended class everyday,during this period . At 9 i was in Jss1, my mum always  visited  secretly then  to check on me and she gave  me money often.

 I had  little or no friends in junior secondary school , i always  hung  out with boys because the only girl that used to be my friend stopped talking to me because i didn't get into secondary school as early as she did, i was still waiting on my mum to provide the fees. so my friends were mainly boys, because helped in keeping  their cloths and socks on the  football fields often , of which i was always paid for .

''Life also taught me self reliance ''

     
 I started being rebellious,i would leave the house without eating and go to school and I  kept on saving money too.
People  also saw me as a child that needed help and some didn't just  know when to stop talking.

''Another thing i learnt during these period was the ability to not hear you when you are speaking , so no matter what you say to me,i can look you dead in the eyes and not hear,belief me it was a gift.''

I started keeping to myself and I was never a shy person, my personality was that of a strong person.
I was young and my friends were my seniors and i loved it that way, though there was a lot of beef and gossips but it never affected me.
And about home ? home was just home,dad a was always shouting and mum always promising and barely fulfilling them.

 ''Another thing I also noted about  life  while growing up was not to have too much expectations in people''

I had little friends who would push me to do odd things  but i ended up the  matchmaker of the year,my status with the guys made me know them  inside out.
I had my first  boyfriend when i was in SS3, although i was once assaulted but  then it only made guys look irrelevant to me .

     
About the  relationship aspect of my life ,i had been told on several occasion  that i love with my head and not my heart, someone once called me  a damaged girl, lol .well i don't  believe that, because i had been heart broken before ,but i guess it wasn't just like that of a normal person,i was just too proud to even shed a tear.I had been through several relationships after that and they were  cool .

''Another lesson I learnt  was not to live my  life in the past,you either learn from the past and move on or drown in it and be stagnant.''

 However , despite all these ups and downs ,i can boast today that i am a self made young lady,i am into fashion designing , I am an hair stylist and a make up artist ,we  all know these 3 are most basic business of our time. I am also on my Hnd in accounting and  i plan to further more after this .

''The main point  to all these  is , from all the ups and downs,i remained  an  happy girl'' I have few friends and a special one too and all thanks to them ...

So my advise to people  is that whatever it is you have been through,sit, sleep and think about your happiness without  it costing that of the other person next to you and achieve it.
In every situation i remain  assured that i  will always  come out  good!