How to survive during an Heart break/Breakup.

How to survive during an Heart break/Breakup.

As long as relationship and love exist, heartbreak also will continue to exist. Infact, I can tell you that most times, no one sees an heartbreak coming but you can either look well before you leap or help yourself through it once it has happened. Life can be complicated when it comes to relationship matters, that's true, you could get confused, that's normal. Breakups or heart breaks usually happen due to little facts we ignore, little facts we keep ignoring till they become huge facts that matter. But when the deed is done, what then is left?  Here are 10 ways to survive during an heart break .

10ways to survive during an heart break .

1. Understand that it's OK to be alone: I hear people go with the phenomenon that an heartbroken person has to be around people always. I believe this could help but this is not necessary. No matter how people encourage you during this period, the fact still remains that only you can bring the major healing to yourself. You have to be alone often, sit your subconscious down and relate with your heart. Yes, allow yourself to think, to cry and to express grievances alone and understand that it's all going to pass.

2. Don't create a life time damage in the process of grieving: Yes, you would grief, you would regret, you would be bitter, you would so much be expressive at this period. You would have an unknown energy flowing in you during this period, you have a courage which would be mostly directed at negative things. All these are normal, it's good to express yourself, it helps you heal faster, no matter how perfect you are, some innocent people around you at this period would still have to taste from your bitterness, because you are just tired of pleasing everyone or being there for people when they are not there for you, yes, at this stage that thought will come often. Irrespective of this drive, make sure you don't damage what you can't repair during your grieving period, always know you still have an untouched future ahead, that you have to protect even if your present is wounded. Don't insult the wrong people, don't visit the wrong people, don't hurt the wrong people, (be considerate even if you are presently feeling you are not considered by many).
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3. Direct your energy to the right things: Yes, at this stage, you have an energy that drives your expression, you want to do something, you just feel unrestricted to be damn expressive. That boldness comes from no where, you get inspired to express and defend your heart, be it negatively or positively, but there is a secret many don't realise during this period, which is the fact that, it is the best time to achieve some long term unattainable goals. Those energy can be channeled towards the right source which will be a source of joy to you after your breakup experience. You can go into learning a trade you've been thinking of, you can write a book, I know of many celebrities who did this, you can focus on your education, you can do many of the things you've dreamt of achieving. Utilise the energy in a positive way,then you get to gain from your heartbreak. Many that misused  this energy are those you see eventually becoming wayward after an heartbreak, those who commit suicide, those who go around breaking other people's heart, and at the end of the day, they discover they are even hurting themselves more. Why loose more when you can gain better after your loss? Be positive.

4. Understand that you are in a very vulnerable period: This is the period you would feel like going into another relationship immediately, I will say it has worked for few, but majority ended up breaking an innocent heart and losing a good one to grieve. Avoid a close personal contact with the opposite sex during this period , you are emotional and you would want to try anything that comes your way, to ease your ache, you might feel you are hurting the hurt by trying stupid things you don't do on a normal day, but trust me, you are hurting yourself more, for this period will pass and you wouldn't like to live with mistakes you made during it. No, don't have a fling, don't go about having sex, don't drink to stupor, don't smoke. Allow yourself to be the human you are, you are not God.
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5. Do things you love: Go about doing things you love, yes, you are not perfect, I say don't care even if you gain some weight in the process, you will lose it all, when it's all over. You can eat your best food often, listen to your best music, dance often, go for a swim, open up to people, yes, you do yourself no good acting  like a brick wall that has no emotions because you don't want people to act on your emotion or story, don't care if they would think less of you, tell yourself "Everyone has their time to be sad, no man can escape it, this is my time and I will live through it". Share your story with people, good people. Watch your best types of movie . Don't be embarrassed to be sorry for yourself. It will all pass.

6 . Know where you went wrong: Know what you did wrong and where you went wrong. Think about where you were careless in your decisions and try to realise your mistakes. Think about how you saw some things the way you wanted to see them and not the way they really were. Learn how to look better in the future .

7. Learn your lessons: There is always a new thing to learn from every disappointment, realise things you've learnt. Majority learn more about self-worth, it's mostly common with women. Some learn more about what they never knew about themselves. Use your grieving period to know more about things you never paid attention to.

8. Know your friends: This is the best period to know who your true friends are and those who are just there for the good times. You find out your closest friend during this period. You see the person who is really ready to take your shit and still comfort you. Real friends are those who will have the time to be with you during this stage.

9. Build a new you: Create a new you, add something or an activity of value to your life, make sure there is a positive change in you that your breakup experience gifted you indirectly. You could be closer to God, you could change how you look, you could start giving more. Make a signature in your personality, that you will always look at and tell people how your hurt birthed that beautiful aspect of of your life. Let it be a surviving scar in you, that will always give you courage.

10 . Accept that you are heartbroken: yes. Someone came to you ,you opened your heart to them and they succeeded in breaking your heart. You are human, humans feel pain, those that don't feel pain are somewhere in a psychiatric ward. Thank God your heart is healthy. Accept that you have feelings.

Written by Alaka Tobi.